Love it is and should not be an issue of race.

Love is a weird thing that I believe most do not take the time to understand what it is. Take a moment what do you believe love to be or what is love to you. Whom do you love. Love is a verb it is an action. It means to love you actually have to do something. With Ferguson going on it really made me think about what is going on. Whatever stance you are taking is up to you but the whole thing has really made me think. It made me realize that if we love on these people and not hate and say rude things about them we could show that we are different from "white people" personally I don't see color I see people. People I care about, people who are broken and lost because of a corrupt system. The system has been like this for a while. I see people who just want answers. I see people who are in a way reverted back to old ways. It reminds me of the civil rights. I know it is hard and I will never know what it is like to be in a black community or born black and deal with the hardships. I am white in today's society that means not to many horrible things happen to me. But we can't hide behind saying you don't understand because unless you're willingly to share and tell us without doing hateful things toward others and I'm not just saying one race does this we all have done this before so don't go pointing fingers at anyone no one is going to listen. Riots and burning and looting buildings is not going to get us anywhere, it will get your neighborhood to look worst and that's it. So join together in prayer and love. Put aside race and color. Look at each other as a brother and sister moving towards the same goal. If they don't want the same goal then ignore them and grab someone who is willing to walk with you. Love people who are hurting, who are in the dark places, who need someone to talk to. Who need a hug, who need someone to say I'm sorry for your pain and loss, who is willing to stand by them in love and unity. Who is willing to pray for them. This is what I'll end with we need love in this broken world I think we can all agree with that. Other things you may not agree with. But as Martin Luther King Jr. said "Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that." And he also said this which made me think lives matter we all know that but we gotta love each other to get any where but here is what he said as well "If you can't fly then run, if you can't run then walk, if you can't walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward." We have to move forward as a society. Grab someone's hand who is ready to move forward to do things that people may think is crazy. To stand up for those who cannot and do not speak up for themselves. Let's be a generation who loves EVERYONE not just some. 

Journal of a follower of Christ

As look at the sky tonight. The sun shining through dark rain clouds. I was reminded of the hand God plays in my life. How faith and a relationship is the main priorities to being a follower of Jesus. Sometimes I feel like I'm losing my faith. I question why God puts these trails and storms in our lives. I have been asking myself these more and more recently because my family is closing a huge chapter in our lives. We are moving on in our adoption journey we are adopting a little girl name Lucy from China, since Russia has closed their doors. It is one of the hardest things because in my head with Artem God promised me I would have him. But he didn't tell me what form I would have him. I have him alright he has stolen a special part in my heart with out trying he will always be my little brother whether he is here with me or in Russia. But I do know why we go through trials and storms. It is to strengthen us in our faith. Do I always like it no, but is it necessary for growth yes. As I look at Lucy I love her already as well. She will never take my bubbas place but she will be here. As we begin this journey again I'm asking for you guys to grab my hand as I grab Gods and walk on this journey. For help to believe in the best of things, like I do. To know where my strength and light lie. The sky also reminds me to be a constant light and if I don't become stronger and grow then how am I to be one to others. I leave you with one last reminder nothing happens for nothing. There is always a reason even if we don't see it right away. As my sister Kelsee loves to tell me Phil. 4:13. ❤️ As I walk and continue with God i have a reason to be happy.

The world

My friend wrote this.This world...heh. This world was never meant to be what it is. We made it this way. WE made choices. WE knew right from wrong. WE knew wether or not one action would hurt someone or help them. WE knew wether or not the words coming out of our mouths were putdowns or encouragements. WE KNEW! WE KNOW....we know and yet everyday our choices almost never change. Our actions never change. God foreknew us and because he foreknew us he also predestined us in the image of his son. Those he predestined he also called and those he called he also justified and those he justified he also glorified. Did you hear that? GOD FOREKNEW! That man in jail who killed an innocent person, God foreknew, God predestined him to do amazing things in his name. But that man made a choice. That homeless women holding a sign in a parking lot who spent all her money on drugs, lost her kids and her husband, yeah, God foreknew, he predestined her for greatness, but she made a choice. That child with a gun who wants to take their own life because everything is to hard and they just can't handle it anymore. God foreknew, God predestined them to be a child of the one true king. But they are making a choice. Everyday we make choices and his a domino effect in the world. One thing leads to another and to another changing everyone's lives and experiences. I ponder everyday on what I have done in life and how it could possibly effect others. I think before I act, I think before I speak because wether we realize it or not we influence each other more then anything else in life does. And more often then less it's man to man, you don't see a dog or a building or a car or a tree influencing someone to kill someone or themselves or do drugs it's all man. The very humans of this world that satan try's to run and control. It's the very humans of this world that God foreknew,God predestined,God called,God justified, and God will glorify in his right timing along with Humans right choices to change. So many people question. "If God is so mighty and real then why does he allow people to do such horrible things?" BECAUSE GOD GAVE US A CHOICE! You just have to choose the right one...... " for I know the plans I have for you" declares the Lord. " plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you" declares the Lord. " and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you" declares the Lord. "and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile." God forgives! And he wants you. So those in jail, those homeless and addicted, those without hope, those who are weary, those with hurt and pain so great you just can't bear it. Make a NEW CHOICE, a choice to seek God and he will bring you from your pain, bring you from captivities, bring you from your slavery, from your hurt, your addictions, from your mistakes and he will glorify you in his name for he has foreknew your capability and predestined you to use it at some point in your life as long as you make the choice to let him. So everyone, what is your choice today? 

Growing up with no map?!

People ask me all the time what I want to be when I graduate from college. I tell them I want to be a drug and alcohol counselor, I am called to help those in one of the darkest places of life. I know about myself is I will not be one of those who say I understand(nothing against them) but that's not who I am. I will not tell you I understand when I have no idea what it is like to go through the situation. BUT I will listen to you, and help you in any way that I can. I will straight up tell you where I am coming from. I am empathic and I know how you feel and I will feel your high emotions and everything. That is who I am. God created me that way for a reason. The reason is that the people I will work with are tired of hearing someone say I understand, then when it come to it they have no idea or empathy for them. I have great people skills and I love people.  It's not me, I have one of the biggest hearts for people and I don't like to see them hurt. But I also know that sometimes the truth and being real right away helps more than it does later on. I also keep most things light and funny. I'm goofy and love to laugh. I do know how to be serious but even then my take is more light I will find the good somehow. I search high and low for the good. Because no matter how dark or deep someone goes there is always a good, always hope, always someone there for them.

The church has a dress code?!? Ain't nobody got time for dat.

 The church. First thought that comes to mind for most is dressing up. Second going to a place on Sunday morning or Wednesday nights because you have to, it is expected of you. I've recently as of Sunday discovered what a church really is and what a church is to me. So it started different Sunday, I decided to go to my cousin's church. It was great. The people were very welcoming and kind hearted people. They were real. It made me realize and take a step back. To often we judge the church by what its members look like. For example if someone comes in wearing a suit and tie we tend to think wow they are really into this. But if someone shows up in ratty Tshirt and ripped up jeans, we just write them off. That's not right. We cannot judge the church by what the members wear or look like. A church does not have to be a set building. It could be where a few of his people are gathered together in fellowship. It does not matter to god what you wear, just that you are pursuing him. Just because someone wears a suit and tie does not mean they are more holy,righteous or better than the one who is in camo, or ratty Tshirt and ripped up jeans. God does not look upon our appearance of our outer selves but of our hearts. Keep that in mind next time you see someone in ratty Tshirt and ripped up jeans or wearing Jordan's and a SnapBack. Also remember if you say you are or that you do something carry it through be true to your word. It makes people realize that you are real, that you are different, you are like Christ.  We need to be the body of Christ, doing the work we need to, accepting all just as the come. Just like Christ accepted us without making us change first.

The noise has fallen on deaf ears

Listening. Is a hard thing to do in general we tend to get wrapped up in our own thoughts. Or we stop if we aren't hearing what we want, but sometimes we need to listen anyways. Story time, once there was a woman named Hannah she could not have a child, but she prayed oh did she pray, she put pastors to shame. But she asked and prayed to God to give her a son and if he did she would give her son to him. God did grant this, so when the boy was old enough he went and lived with the high priest or pastor whose name was Eli. The boy was raised in the church. One night the boy heard his name being called he went to see Eli, Eli said I did not call you go back to bed, this happened three times before Eli realized God was trying to talk to this boy. Eli told the boy to say to God I am listening if he was called again. So the boy did exactly that. The boys name if you didn't know was Samuel. Sometimes I think we are like him, always thinking that it is someone else whom is trying to speak with us but really it's God who is. We tend to listen to everyone else talking to us but we to often tune out God. Sometimes It is because we don't want to hear the answer to certain things. But sometimes if you listen to that still small voice it gives you hope. It tells you to keep on trying, that you can make it. We can overcome whatever we think we can't, because well he overcame this world for us. Next time you can't hear anything listen for that still small voice through the silence and know he is with you and wants to talk to you. Because he is not dead, he is alive inside of us or if he not inside of you he sure wants you to let him be. With much love and hope for you all from someone with hope for everyone ❤️

Wait?!? What!!! Where did my time go?

Time is a mysterious but well known thing. Mysterious in the way we never know how much time we have with people or on this earth. Some have lots of term visit and others have a very short stay (a vacation in a sense). We do NOT get to chose which we recieve it's like the wheel of fortune in a sense, you never know what you'll land on. Let's be real, we don't always spend our time wisely. I as well as the next person am guilty of this. We waste our time sometimes napping, reading, playing video games and etc. We have so much time but yet do we give any to God. Truthfully I should spend more time with him and in his presence. What would happen if we spent more time with him. Or if we spent our time actually loving others and talking, building relationships with them. This would include the users,clean, Muslims, atheists, homophobics, the homosexuals and everyone else. What could we do to the world if we showed them true love, Godly love. Someone once told me to love the sinner, hate the sin. My goal is to spend my time more wisely, the time he has given me is limited. I want to broaden my horizons, spread my wings and truly get to know others and their hearts. I'll leave you with this you put your time and effort in to the relationships you want to keep or build. But you also need to use your time wisely because you never know when you'll recieve that call home.

Words

Words are an amazing thing. They can help write a book, communicate an idea and other things. Words can build up or tear down. They can show someone they are loved, inspire them to get their dream, hope. They can also destroy. Show someone that they are worthless, unloved, believe that only killing themselves or others is the only solution. Proverbs 18:21 "Words kill, words give life, they’re either poison or fruit—you choose." MSG. But we could either save someone's life in what we say or take it. Sometimes a nice word could help someone day. You never know who you can save by a simple hello, or sitting by them. The way we talk is up to us. So we can either build or destroy.

We have this thing, idea you can call it, that we have to be perfect. But what does perfect mean. To everyone else it means something else. To God it means to be exactly how he created us. Not to live up to someone else's standard, but to be who he wants is to be. He loves us in despite of our flaws and how we hate ourselves. But think how our society could be if we all thought of each other as perfect in the way God isn't finish working with us. Would it help the eating disorder rate go down, the bullying, the self-harm. To be honest and real I have no idea if it would, it could but I don't know. Don't get me wrong I know my thinking is way ahead and kind of out of this world. But most people who change the world have crazy ideas as well. Just think about what it would be like to all be together and not hate each other. We are called to love our enemies. That means the Muslims,atheists, gays, wicans, Buddhists, and whatever else, because God loved them. He loves us his followers as well but he also loves "them. Piece of advice "don't hate me for saying this" but love the sinner hate the sin, simply concept and let's face it we could reach more if others had this concept, not trying to push it on you, but think about it. Instead of being concerned with how holy are you. Try being concerned about the person next to, talk to them not about Christianity but about Jesus, he is one amazing guy. Be so passionate about him that others come to you because they can see a difference in you. So I'll leave you with these things. We are all perfect to God, he loves us all. And will you join me in my crazy thinking.

Story time

Stories we all have them. Each are completely different than the person next to you. We all have a different one for a reason. If all our stories were the same then we would all be the same, I think that would be a boring life, uneventful don't you think. Anyways God gives us each different situations that we go through, think of it as a chapter if you would like. Slowly each exepirence adds up and soon you have a short book. A book that you need to share with others. You never know who needs to hear your story, whom it could impact. Who could take a small part of your story and apply it to their life. Crazy, huh?!? But what would happen if we took that time we want to watch netflix, take a nap, play video games and instead used it to talk to someone, anyone really. Shared stories or simply just talked, what could happen to us a people. More importantly what could happen to us as a body of Christ. If we took the time to truly get to know each other, how amazing would it be, to be united and together as one body. So you never know who you could help by telling your story to, who you could get to know. Remember even if you think your story is nothing compared to others you are wrong. God created and gave us each our own story that works for his glory. Our stories make us who we are, for that reason do not chane who you are and are meant to be. There is a purpose for you to do. Stories are an amazing way to connect with others around you. But use your story for good, to help, heal, whatever it may be, don't let it go to waste.

If Grace is an ocean we are all sinking

Grace 

The concept of forgiveness and grace are so foreign to us. But to God it is who he is it is so common to him. No matter what we have done we are forgiven by him. I'll tell you a story, once there was a man who had two sons. The younger wanted all of his inheritance, the father granted the son his wish. So the boy left and partied and spent his money, he had many friends who loved him for the money. After all the money was spent, he lost his friends he was alone. He then fed pigs, ate whatever they left over and slept with them. He then decided that he would go back to his father because his servants are treated better then this. As soon as the father saw him and ran to greet him. He told them to get him a robe and his ring. His brother on the other hand was very angry but his father was forgiving and showed grace. Did the father have to forgive him no he didn't but he chose to. We are the son who chose to leave. We wander and try to find love,happiness and many other things instead of going to the father God who forgives us and shows grace. He doesn't care what you have done. Whether it's been addiction to drugs, porn, alcohol to if you've turn your back he welcomes us and waits and as soon as he sees the turning point of coming back he runs and comes to us and helps us return. He gives us the most love. The grace he bestows upon us we are not deserving of but yet he lets us receive the grace if we are willing to accept him. He is the perfect gentleman which mean he will not push or force himself upon you. He will wait till you are ready he wants you not because of team Christianity but because he truly loves and cares for us all. He has made us unique to him. But we are undeserving and human yet he will give us grace and love if we are willingly to receive it.

What is beauty???

LETS RE-DEFINE BEAUTY!!!!

To be beautiful means something different to every person you ask. If you ask a girl what it means to be beautiful there answer would be something along the lines of being a size 0-3, nice size chest and the J-LO butt, is the definition of beauty or a model. The thing with girls is they are constantly comparing themselves with others,who are more beautiful. Add in society and media, and lets face it that makes a pretty potent thing for girls. The most difficult time in a girl life I would have to say is the high school years. It is critical time for most, it is the time most are trying to be come comfortable with their own body, and well for fun throw in boys. So now you have girls trying to impress these boys. They believe if they are not  beautiful or what the world defines as perfect then who could EVER love them. NO ONE could is what they believe there is so many self confident issues. Then the enemy likes to plants thoughts of well since no one could love you then you are WORTHLESS, UGLY, DISAPPOINTMENT, MANY MORE.   It is sometimes the longest time for girls and it is hard to come to terms with yourself and like what you have. But ladies have faith there is a guy who will love you for you. The quirks you have, your style, your laugh, your sense of humor, the flaws you hate about yourself. Just wait it hard to remind yourself but it is hard, learn to love yourself first because then it is easier to believe someone else can too. But God has a plan of who you are going to marry. He planned to make you the way you are. He says you are beautifully and wonderfully made and well God does not make mistakes. But why dont we make our own definition of beauty is and what it means to be beautiful.

The fear of the unknown

The unknown 

Everyone has is afraid of the unknown at some point in their life whether they admit it or not. It is scary for the simple fact you have to rely on faith. Faith that God has a plan that is best for you, though you may not like what you have to go through to get there. The fear of the unknown can consist of quite a few areas. For example the fear of whether or not you will get married?Where you will live in the future? How you're career will every possibly work out? How will I make it through college?Will my church still remain, will it come back together and heal?Who will be my friends later on will they be the same or will they go away? These are just a few questions and fears we have. Sometimes (okay a lot of the time) we tend to forget that God has a plan for us so just remember Jeremiah 29:11-14 it's three verse that easily remind you that he has a plan and he will listen to you. And the fear of the unknown the only way to overcome it is by having faith that God will take care of it all. Don't think that I have it all together or that I have overcome the fear of the unknown but I remind myself constantly that The Lord knows better than I. Someday I will overcome the fear, not today or tomorrow or anytime soon but someday it will happen. On that day I will fully and truly understand what it is to have faith and trust in my Heavenly Father. ❤️

Wait this isn't a costume party or masquerade?

Wait this isn't a costume party or masquerade? 

Playing in the dark.

Playing in the dark.

Playing in the dark can be a dangerous thing. Some may ask why. Well the answer is quite simple you can hurt yourself way more in the dark than you would in the light. While in the light others can see what you can do, which I personally think scares people. Since others can see then , that means well you are then held accountable for your decisions. Being hold accountable means having responsibility. Let me tell you guys something. Sometimes being in the dark is not necessarily a bad thing, it can strengthen your walk with God. But it is one of the scariest things in your life. You are in a “pit” and let’s be honest you are the only one that puts yourself in there, it seems that you can never escape and you are filled with a sense of hopelessness and sheer terror. God seems so far away but really he never left your side and he has not moved, you are the one who moved further away. Though that does not take away what you are feeling. Next comes the feeling of shame, as people we do not like to admit when we are wrong, but you also think that how can anyone love me. They have no idea what I have done. Maybe you gave up some morals that you said that you would never give up, for some reason that at the moment seemed like a great idea. Or something that you believe is unforgivable. Well I have good news! God is this amazing person who forgives you and loves you no matter what. Sometimes you can only get out of this "pit" with his help. Sometimes the only way to get back to him is by crawling and well, you may not like that but he doesn’t mind. He loves you no matter what. Do not think that you have gone so far that God doesn’t love you, he waits and hopes for you to come to him. HE is the perfect gentleman he will not force himself on you.  Jesus says in Mark 2:17" It is not the healthy that need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come for the righteous but for the sinners" so even if you think you have been so far in the "pit" do not give up, do not stop trying to get up and even if you have to crawl until you can stand again. Remember every night has a dawn…it may be a long night but it will come eventually but do not lose faith.