Some of my special interests are, watching criminal documentaries because I have a weird fascination with them for some reason. I enjoy looking at the psychology behind why most people do the things that they do. But a hobbie that I have is reading, I enjoy all types of books. It is something that I enjoy doing and I especially love reading when taking road trips. Which is another interest of mine, taking road trips and seeing the new places and adventures that they contain.

Redemption

As I was at WinterJam I cannot even remember the exact point. But the theme of Redemption kept coming up in my heart and mind. Tony Nolan spoke about Redemption and how God loves us no matter what. I was reminded how redeemed we are, then the prodigal son came into play. How even though he left when he came back he received forgiveness and redemption. It made me think as Christians do we welcome the drunks, addicts, the modern day Rehabs (those who sleep around) homosexuals, abusers whatever they may, the ones who are in a place that we have likely been at least some point in our lives. Maybe not as bad or deep but still dabbled in. Why is it the ones who need the church the most are scared  to come to church?!? Because of judgement or their vision of God is blurred by us most of the time. Most atheists that I have met are ones because the church has hurt or ruined them for some reason or another. It does not matter what your sin is the gift of redemption does not change because of the sin you have committed because if it has most of the church should not receive Grace, Mercy, or Redemption. Let's be a little less harsh and judging and more loving. You received redemption also. As a Christian I do not have all the answers but I will help you to the best of my abilities. I am not trying to shove my faith down your throat but you are missing out on the redemption and love. You are searching everywhere and anywhere to fill up a void. I do not know your story and why you are or are not a believer. What either made or broken your faith. Who turned on you or helped you. I do not know but I do know that it can be redeemed and the redemption is waiting for you.  

I am who I am.

Recently I have been feeling homesick often, but this year I have a lot going on as well. We are adopting and traveling soon. I am a junior in college, I am going to be an aunt, I am a lot of things. I am a sister, a follower of Jesus Christ. I am happy, and crazy and full of life most of the time. I am also sad, and emotional. I am a lot of things, honestly I never really planned the future as a child because i am not a planner at all, I am a procrastinator. But I am who I am. I am a college girl trying to figure out this amazingly beautiful thing called life. I am trying not to rush the experience, I have this amazing God walking along side with me, Even though somedays it is harder to have faith and trust, that is exactly what I need to do. I am not the typical follower of Jesus, I love my tattoos and piercings, but I have this amazing relationship with Christ no matter what anyone may say or see on the outside, Do i need to improve it, yeah i could make it better, but you know he is a patient God, even though I have questions, he answers them. Prayer is important and I seek solitude with him. He comforts me and loves me. I am a beloved, I am a lover of life, I am strong, I am passionate, I am a believer in miracles, I am a fighter for the underdogs, I am a light to those in darkness, I am second,
I AM A CHILD OF GOD. That is what I am and I am not willing to change for anyone, those who want to stay in my life and love me then they will accept that.

Ready,set,test?!?

I've come to learn that when you say something or pray about it God is going to put you to the fire. I moved back into the dorms August 9th our halls theme is security and serenity in Jesus. We are so punny that our is harder fourtress. But after leadership week started I got a call at 6:00 Tuesday night telling me that my papa was not doing well. He was unresponsive and unconscious they took him to ICU. That call shook my life. I had no idea what to feel or do. The week continued with leadership activities. Well Friday I got a call saying that he was not going to get any better. So I was playing on flying with my dad to attend the things I thought I needed to take on. Turns out God had other plans. He wanted me to look to him for comfort and security and that love only he could give. So I have cried my heart out but grieving will still take time. My papa finally went to rest in paradise on Tuesday the 18th of August between 7-7:30 pm. I learned that I am very much like my papa and great-papa we have huge hearts and are kind to all we meet. We show love and treat them nicely. It is hard to lose someone so close yet so far away. I know he loved me and I love him. He will always have a piece of my heart. I wish I could of talked to that amazing man today on my 20th birthday and have him say it to me. He never forgot. He will never see me get married or have children. His spirit will be in my heart and my husband and children will know about him. But that amazing man's passing was a test of mine. It was to show me where my rest and fortress really is. It isn't on this earth and the person who gives it to me is not easy to follow. You will be tempted and tried. You will fight your flesh and so many other things. At the end of the day God has never left my side he lets me cry out to him time and time again. And he says welcome back my child come into my arms. If that isn't true love and sacrifice then I don't know what is. My savior gave his only son for me. My sins were the nails in his hands. Your sins where the nails in his hands. Our sins are what held him up there. And still he said father forgive them for they do not know. Wow!!!! Mind blown!!! That's all I have for you today. You will be tested at some point in your life whether you believe that or not. Don't wait to ask Jesus in your heart because you never know when your last breath will be ❤️

Wandering through the wilderness

A few weeks ago I was helping my mom teach our youth. We were talking about the Israelites. One thing that stuck out to me is that they were kind of babies,they wanted everything now, and complained and whined when things didn't go their way. But they also wandered through the wilderness. Which reminded me a lot of what we (us in our twenties and high school age) we are like the Israelites. We want things now. We don't want to search or seek God. When wandering the wilderness the Israelites it was good for them. While wandering the wilderness. Seek God, who you are to be, what you are to be. What you believe. It won't be easy, you will find things out about yourself that you may not like. You don't have to worry about a boyfriend or girlfriend because that may be what's getting in your way. Or whatever may be holding you back from God. The wilderness is scary you dont know what the end may like look. You have many factors that may stop you for looking and figuring things out. The Israelites wandered for forty years trying to find themselves. Don't wander that long.In the end you'll likely either love it hate the person you are. But it's okay you can grow and change it is for the best. But growth can be a scary thing so listen to God always! 

Singleness...you won't be forever alone

A lot of people I know are getting married or are in a relationship. But to all those who are single, it is okay. God has a plan and person for you. We tend to focus on the small things. We worry yet rarely pray, CHANGE THAT! PRAY! He will give them to us when we and they are ready. Life will continue, I know it is hard right now. I have the same struggles. That it seem that we won't be able to live or continue on. Just because we are single does not mean you are ugly or repulsive, rather we are waiting. But it will happen on its own time. On the day you get married you will look back and wonder why you were so scared. But while you wait continue the plans God has for you, live life. Do adventures, camps, friends, continue to live life.

Persecution?! That wasn't part of the plan?!

In Night Chapel we talked about others in different countries who are persecuted for faith in Jesus Christ. The stand till the death with their faith. Faith tonight has hit me hard. I have faith I do but I need to strengthen it. All of this is because of religion. It is because people believing and having hope in Jesus Christ. Sooner than later we are going to have to go into hiding as well, I will not be able to blog and share the gospel this way. It will be illegal and darker times are to come. Whether you agree with me or not that is okay. It breaks my heart that others do not want to hear about this awesome amazing, glorious God. He makes things so beautifully but it is the hardest things. We will be killed for faith. If someone asks you if you believe in God with a gun held to your head what is going to be your answer. Mine would have to be yes, i do. Either way I am likely to die just being honest. So I will honor my God, I will not deny him. SO if I have to die for my faith then so be it. My parents, friends and loved ones will understand. It will not make the grief easier after all they lost someone but yet they know where I went. Life will not be easier with Christ. We have to praise him in the good and bad. In the mist of the struggle and terrible trial, you will still praise God. We will stop selling these things that make it seem with God everything is good. That is not how it is, we all know that. So many things go through my mind, but this one keeps going through "What is holding you back" is it fear of death. a chain, a past that you think you cannot leave?" What is it? I want you to honestly think about it, you dont have to give me an answer. I would love to know what it is but it isnt between me and you, it's between you and God. But I want to show you love and what reality is which is it wont be pretty, we are headed for some dark times, but yet the light shines through in the dark.