Fear is not for the faint of heart

Last night I was awoken by someone blasting their horn then followed by what sounded like gunshots. I went to find my RA and found out my side of the hall had awaken. We had called the police and were trying to figure out what was going on. So at 3:00 am those that had gathered decided to pray. It was then that I realized that although I go to a Christian University that there is evil that takes place. Your first instinct for most who are sheltered or have never experienced it before is fear. This made me realize do we as Christians often live our lives in fear. Do we not talk or share the gospel with someone because we are scared of them. Scared of rejection, scared of whatever it is. My future job is not a guaranteed safety. Those who I want to work with could do a lot of things.  I want to work with drug addicts, or any addictions and those who have been victims of human trafficking. But after this had happened, prayer and thought I have come to the terms. That sometimes I live my life in fear of a lot of things. So if I live in fear am I really living or am I just going through the motions. Some days I feel like I am just going through the motions and I have decided that is not what I want to do. I have decided it is time to fully rely on God, he is my protector and comforter. He is my Abba. I have come to terms that if I live in fear that is what will always be holding me back from what he has called me to do. There is evil in this world do realize this but their is also good in this world. Our world is becoming a dark place and that can be frightening but my place is not here on this earth. This is not my home, heaven is and that is where I find happiness and peace is in that knowledge. It is where I realize my full potential is when I stop being afraid of the world around me. Because whatever happens in this life God has already planned it.  So I hope that comforts you, I do not understand or do I want to begin to try and fathom what plans God has for me or for you. But I do know that I have a God who has called me to not live life in fear, and to trust him. Whether you believe this or not it is your choice. But I do know that fear is not for the faint of heart, but we do have a mighty God. So live your life and calling out. Please live each moment to its fullest.

Struggles,obstacles and perseverance.

So I want to start off by saying we all have different struggles in our lives. Demons as some may call them. I have them, you have them, we all have them. It like the flyers that people but on your windshield you know what I am talking about. Anyways when I went to church Sunday we talked about Gideon and the Israelites. It made me think we too often are like the Israelites and by that I mean when we fall back into our struggles we cry out to God and he saves us but then a few days later it happens again. Our personal demons are hard to deal with. I don't know what yours are but they are hard to defeat. But we have to have perseverance, we can't give up we have to continue on. We have to face them. We have to not only break our chains but you may have to completely destroy them. God  will not give up on you. Too often it is the other way around. So stand strong have your anchor in Christ. Get into the word daily, have nurturing talks, build each other up. We are strong. We are called to be warriors, world changers and loving. Obstacles will come along on the way but be prepared for the enemy comes in the night to steal,kill and destroy. But we will not be shaken. We will not fall back into our old habits and cycles. We will live not by the flesh but by the spirit. But if obstacles come up don't fall if you start to stumble I will be there and help you up. For we are to build each other up. We are brothers and sisters in Christ. We recognize souls not color. We love each other. So whatever comes your way. Whether it is this week, this month, 6 months. Before or after camp even during camp continue on. Even if it is crawling, for it is still moving foward. Listen to God take out the garbage in your life. Be like Gideon and listen for he will provide just like he did for Gideon and his 300 men who won a war. Trust and listen and you will persevere. For once God starts something in you he will finish it.

Come as you are

We all have different stories, different cultures, different influences. We have a ton of differences. But do we accept these differences or do we tend to shun or push people if they are not the same as us. Do we take the time to listen and actually hear where the person comes from. We are not the same and that is a fantastic thing. Lets be real I am not going to sugar coat it. If we were all the same we would be in a very sad and boring world. One without color, one without uniqueness, one without a lot of things. We need to recognize them because then we can make progress, if we don't then we wont be moving forward in anything. But the cool thing about being different is how and whom you get to come into contact with in your life. Take me for instance, I was raised in the typical white Christian family there is nothing wrong with this. But because of this I have had different experiences than the people I know who are black and raised in the ghetto area and may be the only Christian in their family or the only reason they are in church on a Sunday morning is because they have a grandma or neighbor who cares enough to pray and take them to church. We are different but we are brothers and sisters in Christ and we need to recognize it. Whatever it is we need to be okay with it. To some I may not look like the typical Christian. I love to hang out with the sinners because I get the chance to show light to them don't get me wrong I love Christians and fellowship with them. But some of the people who are unsaved show more mercy and grace than those who have chosen to receive God. It is weird to think about right. Take me for example I love tattoos and piercings and I have a few each of them tell a story. I want to work with human trafficking victims and drug and alcohol addicts. I will be real with them and tell them I have no idea what they are going through or have gone through because it the truth and I will be real with them. But we have to be willing to take people where they are at right now. Whether they are tweaking out, homeless, rich, poor, stuck in addition, self-righteous. Who have been to church since they were born to those who first sunday it is at 25. David Crowder has a song called come as you are which is just talking about what I was just talking about. It is so important to just love and give hope. Being a Christian is not about being about being better than someone else, because you were once in sin just like them, someone cared enough about you to give you hope and a future. We need to do the same thing. I may be different but I honestly love and care. I don't care where you have been or where you are but come to Jesus, the decision is yours to make. I wont say being a Christian will be easy because it wont be but it will be worth it in the end. If you ever have questions, comment and I will comment back and talk and explain the best I can. Just remember Jesus told the teachers that who is without sin to cast the first stone, and told a prostitute to go and sin no more because she is forgiven. You are not defined by your past, God defines you if you choose to take comfort in him as your savior.

Love it is and should not be an issue of race.

Love is a weird thing that I believe most do not take the time to understand what it is. Take a moment what do you believe love to be or what is love to you. Whom do you love. Love is a verb it is an action. It means to love you actually have to do something. With Ferguson going on it really made me think about what is going on. Whatever stance you are taking is up to you but the whole thing has really made me think. It made me realize that if we love on these people and not hate and say rude things about them we could show that we are different from "white people" personally I don't see color I see people. People I care about, people who are broken and lost because of a corrupt system. The system has been like this for a while. I see people who just want answers. I see people who are in a way reverted back to old ways. It reminds me of the civil rights. I know it is hard and I will never know what it is like to be in a black community or born black and deal with the hardships. I am white in today's society that means not to many horrible things happen to me. But we can't hide behind saying you don't understand because unless you're willingly to share and tell us without doing hateful things toward others and I'm not just saying one race does this we all have done this before so don't go pointing fingers at anyone no one is going to listen. Riots and burning and looting buildings is not going to get us anywhere, it will get your neighborhood to look worst and that's it. So join together in prayer and love. Put aside race and color. Look at each other as a brother and sister moving towards the same goal. If they don't want the same goal then ignore them and grab someone who is willing to walk with you. Love people who are hurting, who are in the dark places, who need someone to talk to. Who need a hug, who need someone to say I'm sorry for your pain and loss, who is willing to stand by them in love and unity. Who is willing to pray for them. This is what I'll end with we need love in this broken world I think we can all agree with that. Other things you may not agree with. But as Martin Luther King Jr. said "Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that." And he also said this which made me think lives matter we all know that but we gotta love each other to get any where but here is what he said as well "If you can't fly then run, if you can't run then walk, if you can't walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward." We have to move forward as a society. Grab someone's hand who is ready to move forward to do things that people may think is crazy. To stand up for those who cannot and do not speak up for themselves. Let's be a generation who loves EVERYONE not just some. 

Journal of a follower of Christ

As look at the sky tonight. The sun shining through dark rain clouds. I was reminded of the hand God plays in my life. How faith and a relationship is the main priorities to being a follower of Jesus. Sometimes I feel like I'm losing my faith. I question why God puts these trails and storms in our lives. I have been asking myself these more and more recently because my family is closing a huge chapter in our lives. We are moving on in our adoption journey we are adopting a little girl name Lucy from China, since Russia has closed their doors. It is one of the hardest things because in my head with Artem God promised me I would have him. But he didn't tell me what form I would have him. I have him alright he has stolen a special part in my heart with out trying he will always be my little brother whether he is here with me or in Russia. But I do know why we go through trials and storms. It is to strengthen us in our faith. Do I always like it no, but is it necessary for growth yes. As I look at Lucy I love her already as well. She will never take my bubbas place but she will be here. As we begin this journey again I'm asking for you guys to grab my hand as I grab Gods and walk on this journey. For help to believe in the best of things, like I do. To know where my strength and light lie. The sky also reminds me to be a constant light and if I don't become stronger and grow then how am I to be one to others. I leave you with one last reminder nothing happens for nothing. There is always a reason even if we don't see it right away. As my sister Kelsee loves to tell me Phil. 4:13. ❤️ As I walk and continue with God i have a reason to be happy.

The world

My friend wrote this.This world...heh. This world was never meant to be what it is. We made it this way. WE made choices. WE knew right from wrong. WE knew wether or not one action would hurt someone or help them. WE knew wether or not the words coming out of our mouths were putdowns or encouragements. WE KNEW! WE KNOW....we know and yet everyday our choices almost never change. Our actions never change. God foreknew us and because he foreknew us he also predestined us in the image of his son. Those he predestined he also called and those he called he also justified and those he justified he also glorified. Did you hear that? GOD FOREKNEW! That man in jail who killed an innocent person, God foreknew, God predestined him to do amazing things in his name. But that man made a choice. That homeless women holding a sign in a parking lot who spent all her money on drugs, lost her kids and her husband, yeah, God foreknew, he predestined her for greatness, but she made a choice. That child with a gun who wants to take their own life because everything is to hard and they just can't handle it anymore. God foreknew, God predestined them to be a child of the one true king. But they are making a choice. Everyday we make choices and his a domino effect in the world. One thing leads to another and to another changing everyone's lives and experiences. I ponder everyday on what I have done in life and how it could possibly effect others. I think before I act, I think before I speak because wether we realize it or not we influence each other more then anything else in life does. And more often then less it's man to man, you don't see a dog or a building or a car or a tree influencing someone to kill someone or themselves or do drugs it's all man. The very humans of this world that satan try's to run and control. It's the very humans of this world that God foreknew,God predestined,God called,God justified, and God will glorify in his right timing along with Humans right choices to change. So many people question. "If God is so mighty and real then why does he allow people to do such horrible things?" BECAUSE GOD GAVE US A CHOICE! You just have to choose the right one...... " for I know the plans I have for you" declares the Lord. " plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you" declares the Lord. " and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you" declares the Lord. "and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile." God forgives! And he wants you. So those in jail, those homeless and addicted, those without hope, those who are weary, those with hurt and pain so great you just can't bear it. Make a NEW CHOICE, a choice to seek God and he will bring you from your pain, bring you from captivities, bring you from your slavery, from your hurt, your addictions, from your mistakes and he will glorify you in his name for he has foreknew your capability and predestined you to use it at some point in your life as long as you make the choice to let him. So everyone, what is your choice today? 

Growing up with no map?!

People ask me all the time what I want to be when I graduate from college. I tell them I want to be a drug and alcohol counselor, I am called to help those in one of the darkest places of life. I know about myself is I will not be one of those who say I understand(nothing against them) but that's not who I am. I will not tell you I understand when I have no idea what it is like to go through the situation. BUT I will listen to you, and help you in any way that I can. I will straight up tell you where I am coming from. I am empathic and I know how you feel and I will feel your high emotions and everything. That is who I am. God created me that way for a reason. The reason is that the people I will work with are tired of hearing someone say I understand, then when it come to it they have no idea or empathy for them. I have great people skills and I love people.  It's not me, I have one of the biggest hearts for people and I don't like to see them hurt. But I also know that sometimes the truth and being real right away helps more than it does later on. I also keep most things light and funny. I'm goofy and love to laugh. I do know how to be serious but even then my take is more light I will find the good somehow. I search high and low for the good. Because no matter how dark or deep someone goes there is always a good, always hope, always someone there for them.